Day 5: " I remember..."

I remember when loving you was the only thing I was good at.

I learned a new language just so we could communicate without speaking.

I figured loving you would've taught me how to love myself.

That maybe it would make it easier for you to love me too.

Like I could've taught you how to love me, by me loving you.

I remember the first time I looked in the mirror

and didn't recognize the foreign figure standing in front of me.

My own reflection had become a stranger. I didn't realize how easy it was to lose yourself when loving someone so beautiful,

yet so broken.

Then, I remember feeling like I was dying.

Like I was drowning in my own blood.

Choking on my own tears.

Slipping through my own cracks.

I guess I got so used to loving you,

I couldn't imagine finding something else I was good at.